SKIP THIS TOUR

As a one-time bacteriologist, I have always been interested in the biology and practical uses for bacteria and fungi. Everything from wine to penicillin can be produced by these amazing microscopic creatures. When I lived in the Midwest, I took some tours of breweries and learned more about beer than I could have from reading textbooks.  (Yes, I enjoyed sampling the beer, too.) So, when we reached the Tillamook cheese factory in Oregon, I wanted to take the tour and find out exactly what organisms are used in the cheese-making process, and how the procedure is managed.

The factory turned out to be gigantic, surrounded by a huge parking lot for myriad visitors. No dairy cows were on site, though many thousands of milk-producing animals must be required to supply the factory with enough milk for the 170,000 pounds of cheese churned out daily. We saw a stream of milk trucks coming in the back way, and cheese-laden trucks leaving from another gate. Somewhere in that building, we surely could find the details of what happens in the interlude between milk and cheese.

Just reaching the front door was difficult, because of the mob of tourists entering and leaving. Inside the entrance, past the café and gift shop, a sign directed us toward a self-guided tour. A couple of benches faced a large screen where we expected to see an introductory video. It turned out to be a puff piece about how happy dairy farmers (and their cows) are to be providing the raw ingredient for Tillamook cheese. If they are required not to use antibiotics, to avoid pesticides and fertilizers in their fields, or to be organic in other ways, the video did not mention it. Some posters on the walls promised to give us some information before the tour, but turned out to be a history of the Tillamook area. Though of some historical interest, they had nothing to do with the cheese-making that had lured us to the factory.

Following the signs to the tour, we stood in a lengthy line, then passed a long row of free samples of cheese. They were standard Tillamook cheeses—mild, sharp, and extra-sharp Cheddars—that can be bought in any supermarket. Nevertheless, visitors happily speared as many as possible of the sample cubes with the toothpicks that were (thankfully) provided.

Next, we entered a shop where we could buy cheese, crackers, and so on. Again, the cheese was standard Tillamook grocery-store stuff: better than cheaper brands, but nothing special. The prices were perhaps $2/lb. less than we would pay at our local Safeway store. We bought two pounds of the extra-sharp Cheddar, as we do eat a lot of cheese and would put it to good use.

Finally, we moved on to an observation deck overlooking two large divisions of the factory. In one huge area we could see the lids of steel vats within which cheese was presumably being made. No humans could be seen, and there was absolutely no information provided about the process. In the other area, we saw large blocks of cheese carried on a conveyor belt, and workers slicing off the edges of the blocks. The large blocks were then cut into smaller blocks and packaged in their familiar plastic wrappings. The events in this area were so obvious that we didn’t mind the lack of explanation.

Before going back to the entrance, we stopped to buy a dish of ice cream. It was delicious, though no more so (and no less expensive) than we could have enjoyed in any good ice cream shop where the environment would be less hectic. Like the cheese shop, this area was extremely crowded with people, some of whom weighed two or three hundred pounds on the hoof and were stuffing themselves with ice cream. This place is an obesity crisis. And that was all. We had wasted more than an hour fighting crowds and buying some cheese and ice cream without learning a thing about how the foods were made.

I love Oregon in general. The coastal scenery is possibly the most beautiful of any in the United States, and we are fortunate in living near enough for a quick visit. But, every state has some places to avoid, and the Tillamook Factory is one. For anyone seeking the facts about cheese, some smaller companies are likely to give real tours, and to produce higher quality cheese as well.