Showing posts with label being childless. Show all posts
Showing posts with label being childless. Show all posts

Sunday, May 25, 2014

BEING CHILDLESS



In a recent magazine article,[i] writer Lisa Hymas brought up a subject that many of us environmentalists are afraid to touch: choosing to remain childless. She values the individual freedom she has had from PTA meetings, trips to the zoo, and many other aspects of being a parent. Even more important, in view of the familiar statistics about population growth and its horrific effects on the environment, she knows she made a sound environmental choice.


As a liberal environmentalist, I am sometimes torn about the population  issue. An increase in population size results from rises in birth rate and/or immigration (or, conversely, from falls in death rate and/or emigration). Immigration, like family planning, is a controversial topic. On the one hand, I would like to see America’s doors open to the “huddled masses yearning to breathe free.” It is painful to learn about young people who were brought to this country as young children, but cannot go to college or have lives considered normal by United States citizens. Understandably, they want to shed the “undocumented” label. On the other hand, massive immigration is certainly a problem for the environment. There are very apparent limits to space, water, and other resources. Those of us who were born here can do a little bit to counter the effects of immigration by remaining childfree.

There is enormous societal pressure to have children, and it is hard to resist. When I was a young married woman, people I barely knew would ask me when we planned to have children. My reasons were none of their business, of course, but that didn’t stop them. After I had a hysterectomy at the age of 30, I could say sadly and honestly that I was unable to have children, but that didn’t stop some people from urging us to adopt! (Today, of course, we would be counseled to use methods that were unavailable at that time.)



Adoption is fine for many couples, and is one small answer to both the population problem and to involuntary childlessness. To be honest, though, I don’t care all that much about children; I have never cooed at the sight of a baby or said that I “just love children” in general. When kids start to become interesting, I can like or dislike them, just as I would adults. My late husband felt the same way, and so we never considered adoption.

My partner never had children, either, for a different reason that also benefited the environment. Unlike me, he greatly enjoys small children, and would have made a fine father. However, having a genetic disease, he chose not to take a chance on passing on those genes. As a result, he caused less pressure on the environment and avoided damage to the gene pool.

Now that I am in my late seventies, I sometimes wonder whether I should have had one child for purely selfish reasons. When my own mother lived to be more than 100, I was able to do much to make her last years comfortable. My own future may be bleaker than hers was.

I admire Lisa for her courage in writing this article, and hope she will not suffer too much criticism from mommy bloggers and others who will try to make her feel selfish or anti-children. She made a choice that was right for her, and good for the planet.



[i] Hymas, Lisa. Making a green choice: Childfree living. Mother Earth News Feb/Mar 2014, p. 79.