Showing posts with label satire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label satire. Show all posts

Friday, February 8, 2019

WRITING A COZY MYSTERY


No-sweat writing.
 
Have you always wanted to write a cozy mystery, to be another Agatha Christie? Of course you can! Simply take your laptop into the nearest Starbucks, turn on a word processing program, and follow this outline. In each section, circle your choice of words. In an hour or so, you will have written a modern cozy that will bring you fame and fortune.

A.     Your heroine is named Maggie/Kelly/Annie. She has left a glamorous career in New York/San Francisco/Los Angeles to return to her hometown. (Describe her wardrobe.)

B.     Maggie/Kelly/Annie adopts a dog/cat/raven.

C.     Maggie/Kelly/Annie opens a bakery/book shop/coffee shop. (Recipes are optional but desirable.)

D.     Maggie/Kelly/Annie meets a tall, handsome lawyer/teacher/writer. He lives in a high-tech modern apartment/a restored Victorian house/a houseboat. (Add a mild sex scene.)

E.      Maggie/Kelly/Annie meets a woman rival/business rival/customer who seems strange.

F.      Maggie/Kelly/Annie finds a body in an alley/in a closet/on the beach.

G.     Maggie/Kelly/Annie argues with the stupid local police chief.

H.     Maggie/Kelly/Annie cooperates with her aunt/her business partner/the police chief to solve the mystery. She realizes the person in Section E is guilty.

I.       Maggie/Kelly/Annie follows the murder suspect and is hit over the head/threatened with a knife/threatened with a gun.

J.       Just in time, Maggie/Kelly/Annie is rescued by one of the above.

K.      End of story.

L.       Preview of next story, which will follow the above pattern.

 
Print the result. Glance at the printout to make sure it has no coffee stains on it. Do not hire an editor! Editors will destroy your unique style, and will even expect you to pay them. Instead, you can easily edit it yourself. All you need to do is to let the spellchecker and grammar checker automatically  make any changes necessary. Or, you can ask your friends to make helpful suggestions. Finally, you can have it self-published rather than deal with rejection letters and other annoyances.

Copyright 2019 by Carol Leth Stone